bringing our BOYS ... from haiti to home

Thank You

2011-02-21T11:27:00.001-03:00

Final Post: From Haiti ... to Home

2011-02-06T23:36:00.001-03:00

I have delayed this final post in order to fully enjoy another "first" with Ian and Alec ... their first trip to a very special vacation spot with our family and the Rubin cousins in southern Chile. The last time we took this trip was in December 2008, three months after meeting the boys in Haiti and while our hopes were still so high that they might be coming home any day. Little did we know that it would be another full year before those hopes were realized, yet that only made this vacation even more of a celebration of family.

three toddlers together: Ian, Alec and cousin Kendra

Our special spot is a beautifully designed cabin of native Chilean wood nestled in a deep green field, surrounded by stout, shady trees and just steps from a rippling river perfect for swimming, fishing and exploring. It is owned by an American who rents it out for weeks at a time and this year we had the wonderful privilege of spending two full weeks in this peaceful private getaway.

hand in hand with cousin Juliana

They were weeks of utter enjoyment for all of our children, but it was especially remarkable to observe our Haitian sons as they experienced the amazing beauty of God's creation and the thrill of vast outdoor spaces to run and play and discover. The scenery there is breathtaking, with rolling hills and rich farmland and smoke rising from the nearby snow-capped volcano that looks over the great valley below. Ian and Alec delighted in all that they saw, from rocks and sticks to cows and piglets and horses they observed on our walks and drives through the countryside.

at Volcan Villarrica with Daddy

The boys climbed partway up the volcano; bathed in natural thermal waters; shrieked at the frigid river current; took a boat ride through two lovely lakes; and followed their older siblings and cousins here, there and everywhere in fascination. It was the perfect way to spend the anniversary of their homecoming and it is a vacation we will never forget.

Ian, January 2011

Yes, as amazing as it seems we have truly and finally come full circle from Haiti ... to Home. Today as I watched our two little boys playing together, unaware of my gaze upon them as they marched hand in hand circling the yard and talking up a storm of adventures, my heart was full and at peace. I am thankful, so thankful, for the amazing grace of God poured out on our lives through this journey. It is my hope and prayer that we might never forget the display of His sovereignty, power and faithfulness made evident through it all. And to those of you who walked this journey with us in prayer, friendship and faith ... thank you so very much!

Alec, January 2011

Ian and Alec, I love you with all of my heart.

Remember the Crazy (video)

2011-01-21T09:37:00.001-03:00

I recorded this video to remember the crazy enthusiasm of my two boys discovering the "ball pool" while on an outing with their cousins in Santiago ... they sure know how to make the most of the moment! :)

One Year Ago ...Today (w/video)

2011-01-17T21:08:00.006-03:00

On a Monday night like tonight, one year ago today, Pedro and I boarded a plane and flew to meet our Haitian sons in Florida. Even today, the emotions of that trip overwhelm me. Never has there been for us a crazier and more nerve-wracking yet miraculous 24 hours than what we experienced with Ian and Alec's homecoming.

Literally, from the moment we walked out our door in Iquique, Chile, South America on Monday night to the moment our sons landed in Ft. Pierce, Florida, North America on Tuesday night we were speeding across air and time and space to arrive just in the nick of time to gather them into our arms.

I'll never forget taking urgent calls with driving directions on the cell phone borrowed from my sister-in-law just minutes earlier, while we pushed our rented vehicle to the speed limit (and beyond) and watched mile markers pass by, praying that we would not miss Ian and Alec's arrival after a 6-hour plane delay in Peru made us late and fluctuating flight plans made them late ... and there we were on unfamiliar roads in unfamiliar towns and we stopped first at the wrong airport and "no, it's just another ways down there," and hurrying, hurrying into the doors and the small crowd of waiting parents who were holding their breath just like us, and finally! oh finally, the officer let us in and there they really, truly were ...

I think of it now and it's like a dream. Seeing our adoption coordinator, being handed a feverish and tired Ian (who just days later would be in the ER with rotovirus) and trying to win over a wild Alec who just wanted to run free after his hours cooped up on a small airplane with half a dozen others.

I wish I had more video of that moment, but only two small clips record the memory:

Thankfully, these are memories that will forever be recorded on my heart ... of the day God brought us and our sons fleeing from distant corners of the world and joined us together in a tiny airport in Ft. Pierce. There was so much more in store - joys and challenges, transitions and triumphs - but that night was the culmination and fulfillment of so many hopes and dreams, long delayed, yet finally come true by the grace of God.

And to think it was one year ago ... today.

Swimmingly Sweet

2011-01-15T21:46:00.002-03:00

These pictures were taken on a very rare afternoon when Ian and Mommy were the only ones at home. Despite the absence of his usual partner in crime (aka, brother Alec) Ian entertained himself just fine with a bucket, a shovel, and a whole swimming pool full of water in which to splash about!

It was fun listening to him babble as he pulled his sister's boogie board loaded with goodies to and fro in the pool. Ian is such a bundle of energy that it is difficult for him to stay in one place for long. But happily he was content for quite awhile on this day! I snapped these pictures to remember his joy - and that beautiful smile.

I Need Some Lovins'

2011-01-15T13:21:00.005-03:00

This morning Alec was leaning eagerly against the inside of his crib, watching and waiting for his turn as I first diapered and dressed his brother. Suddenly he announced to Ian, "I need some lovins'!" To which Ian immediately jumped up, ran to the crib and flung his arms around Alec's neck.

The two of them giggled with their arms wrapped around one another as if holding on for dear life. Finally they let go and Ian returned to me for his shoes. But no sooner had he turned away from the crib then Alec announced again, "I need some lovins'!" and the process was repeated once more.

This happened three times before the business of getting Ian dressed was finally done, and I had to laugh every time. I've never seen the boys do this before, even though I know exactly where they learned it. I often tell my kids, "Mommy needs some lovins'!" and almost always I will have someone immediately in my arms and hugging my neck. Those are the most precious moments of my day.

It is so sweet to me that the boys are learning patterns of affection and brotherly love! It is such a far cry from the fighting, biting, pinching and hitting that would take place when they first came home one year ago. They are now best buds with one another, and affectionate with their older siblings as well.

There's nothing like a houseful of lovins'.

One Year Later: Remembering (video)

2011-01-12T15:14:00.001-03:00

Watching this documentary of my sons' orphanage and homecoming on the anniversary of the Haiti earthquake and thankful, so thankful to have them home.

Praying for their country of birth on this very difficult day ...

One Year Later: Prayer for Haiti

2011-01-11T15:36:00.000-03:00

Yesterday evening, I signed up for a special time of prayer on January 12 from 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. EST. I can think of no better way to remember this catastrophic day than in prayer:

https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/828861713

And Then They Smiled

2011-01-11T01:02:00.001-03:00

Alec and Ian, January 2011

Nearing the End

2011-01-04T17:44:00.003-03:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, my intention is to bring this blog to a close at the one-year anniversary of Ian and Alec's homecoming. Already I feel some nostalgia at the thought of doing so but Pedro and I agree that it is time ... we are a complete family now and it is fitting that Ian and Alec make the move to our family blog instead. :)

In preparation for closing this chapter I decided today to return to the very beginning. I was truly startled when I stared at the date of the very first post: January 12, 2008. Two years to the day before the foundations of the earth shook the tiny island nation that held two precious boys God had chosen for our own.

Only God knew at that time who our sons were and what our path held in store. I am so thankful He spared us the details at the outset or I know my faith would have failed me. Instead, it was He who was faithful and carried us each steady and often painstaking step to our adoption journey's end.

It is my deep desire to create a book from this blog, one that holds within its covers the complete saga of God's sovereign story as it was written in our lives and those of our Haitian sons. So if anyone has first-hand experience with creating blog books, let me know! It will be a lifelong treasure and reminder of God's grace for our family.

I know I am getting ahead of myself here ... but as I've looked at past posts and read the kind and encouraging comments on many of them, I have to say "thank you." Thank you to those who have faithfully walked this road with us. Thank you to those who shared the anticipation and the disappointments, the thrills and the sorrows, and the unimaginable miracles along the way. Your prayers meant everything to us! - and God heard them.

We see the proof every day. :)

New Year's Eve 2010: Full Circle

2011-01-02T22:36:00.004-03:00

This New Year's Eve held special significance for me. One year ago I wrote the following about the emotions of celebrating this night without Ian and Alec in our home:

I have to admit that my heart was not into the celebration on New Year's Eve.

Even as I mixed salads and iced a Texas sheet cake; even as I greeted friends as they arrived for an evening of food and fun together at church; even as I watched the fireworks and joined in the hugs and well wishes for a great year in 2010 ... The tears were always near the surface and thoughts of my boys who did not make it home in 2009 weighed heavily on my heart.

... Shortly after 1 a.m. our family said our goodbyes and headed home. We were only the second family to do so, but by 2 a.m. our kids were tucked in and soundly asleep. I took a minute to kiss each soft cheek and pray over each one, asking God's special blessing in this coming year. Once in my own bed, I asked for just one more thing: that very, very soon I would have two more sleeping sons to kiss goodnight.

It is my dearest wish and hope to begin this New Year.

Little did I know then how my prayer would be answered - the hope that would rise from heartbreak and the beauty out of ashes. Though never in a million years would I have wished our joy to come at the expense of such devastation, yet I am deeply grateful for God's protection over the lives of our sons and the incredible way He brought them safely home and into our arms.

It was with this on my heart that I entered into the New Year's celebration this year. I remembered through each step of the night the opposite emotions that had flooded me just twelve months ago; whereas this time my spirit overflowed with thanksgiving to have my little boys at my side.

Once again, we joined the crowds and made our way down to the beachfront for the fireworks display, only now as I sat in the same spot where last year my eyes filled with tears and my arms felt so lonely I was given the gift of holding a son in each arm and experiencing another thrilling "first" with them. Their eyes opened wide and sparkled in wonder at the lights and the noise and the explosive bursts of flashing fireworks against the night sky.

I looked over my shoulder and saw my husband with our daughters and Owen close by, our entire family within a few feet of one another as we watched the colorful display. How thankful I am for this gift! -for this life God has granted us, and the grace He has shown us.

Happy New Year's, indeed.

First Christmas in Photos

2011-01-01T22:10:00.006-03:00

Truth be told, Ian and Alec slept in on their first Christmas at home. Their older brother and sisters beat them to the stockings and to the Wii, but an hour or two later the little guys decided to join in the fun!

These are the very first pictures taken of Ian and Alec on their very first Christmas at home. I love the light in their eyes as they hug their stockings and smile for the camera. They didn't quite know what to make of everything, but they truly enjoyed every minute.

Since the boys weren't sure at first what to do with their stockings, we put big sisters Eva and Isabel to work showing them the ropes. Occasionally we had to slow Eva down as she was a bit over-zealous with her "assistance" (read: hurry) in opening gifts, but the boys caught on quickly and soon were handling more of the unwrapping on their own.

The main theme in Ian and Alec's stocking this year was cars ... lots of matchbox cars, and a toolbox for each of the boys in which to store the cars.

But there were also swim goggles (shown glamorously in a previous post) and fruit snacks from the USA and granola bars and play-doh and colorful bouncy balls ...

Each eliciting exclamations of excitement and enjoyment as seen in Alec's expression below (don't you appreciate the alliteration in this sentence, by the way??)

Needless to say, the snacks didn't last long! After all the unwrapping was said and done, the boys were happy to set their toys aside and just munch on this fruity goodness from Sunkist. :)

Eventually we pried the big kids from the Wii and began opening a few other gifts that were waiting. The scene of five siblings opening a family/group gift looks something like this:

Some of the gifts had traveled quite a long ways, including these Thomas the Train toys all the way from Delaware. Honestly, I never knew Ian was such a fan of trains but he has loved these (and I say "these" plural because he quickly took control of Alec's train and has pretty much maintained that control ever since!)

I know we will look back on these pictures in years to come and marvel at this first Christmas and the answered prayer that it was. Even the days leading up to Christmas were sweet, listening to cries of "Ohhh lights! Pretty lights!" as we plugged in the tree and cuddling the boys close as we read portions of Scripture and hung Jesse tree ornaments in preparation for our celebration of Christ's birth.

Christmas Eve especially will not be forgotten, as under the night skies and shining stars with the chorus of ocean waves crashing in the background, we shared our newly established tradition with Ian and Alec and sang Christmas carols while snuggled as a family onto blankets spread on the sandy beach. Finally all together, singing praises to the One Who made the first Christmas possible and every subsequent one as well.

Glory to God in the highest ... and thank You for the peace of being a family together, at last.

A Christmas Song (by Ian & Alec)

2010-12-28T23:01:00.000-03:00

Celebrating with a Splash

2010-12-25T21:39:00.004-03:00

Ian and Alec spent the afternoon of Christmas celebrating with a splash in the backyard pool ... sporting the oh-so-elegant attire of bright swim goggles from their Christmas stockings. It was fun to hear their giggles and schemes as they manhandled buckets of water and floated lazily to their hearts' content. What a gift to have them home for Christmas this year.

Skyping with Grandma (video)

2010-12-25T00:10:00.000-03:00

Balloon Fights (video)

2010-12-25T00:09:00.000-03:00

And the Stockings Were Hung

2010-12-17T09:17:00.003-03:00

Last year I wrote this post about my feelings on Christmas, which included disappointment that we were still in the dark about when Ian and Alec would come home ... we were so close! - but not close enough to celebrate this long-awaited holiday with them.

Then, in a whirlwind of agony and fear and relief and joy, less than one month later they were here. Home. And this year has been another type of whirlwind ever since! :)

One of our family traditions at Christmas is the fabled stocking. Each of our three older kids has his or her own personalized velvety Christmas stocking, and I remember looking online last Christmas and considering whether I could order matching ones for Ian and Alec and somehow get them down here to Chile.

It would be expensive, however, and tricky to ship. So I waited and when the holiday season rolled around this year I was delighted to find very similar stockings right in our local grocery store here in Chile! They weren't personalized, of course, but that was easily solved by a quick trip to the downtown feria which is home to dozens of seamstresses and embroiderers who ply their trade vigorously at this time of year.

In a matter of an hour Ian and Alec had Christmas stockings to call their own and I was deeply satisfied. Finally a dream come true - "and the stockings were hung" ... all FIVE of them!

stockings for our Haitian sensations

big kids with their stockings last year

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

2010-12-16T10:39:00.001-03:00

Remember This Post?

2010-12-14T23:51:00.001-03:00

Remember this post? I received a number of interested replies but not until recently did I learn for sure that one of the children has found a host family with a college acquaintance of mine. Kristin and I re-connected via blogs this past year and I am so thrilled God allowed me to play a small part in this amazing plan of His!

She and her husband (and their five children!) will be welcoming a little girl with club foot on a 24-month medical visa. Due to their efforts a doctor has agreed to the child's medical care and it appears that she may arrive even before Christmas! Please pray for Kristin's family as they welcome her and for the transitions, joys and challenges they will undoubtedly face together. They will be sacrificially investing their hearts and lives into this little girl and will be forever changed.

God bless you, Kristin, and your family for your willingness to love and serve Christ as you minister to "the least of these" in His name!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Ian David

2010-12-09T00:01:00.003-03:00

From the first time we first met you ...

And even before ...

We have loved you.

We're so happy you are our son ...

And so glad that we can finally share this special day with you!

Happy 3rd Birthday, sweet Ian!

Two Are Better Than One

2010-11-30T11:19:00.003-03:00

... at least according to the author of Ecclesiastes chapter 4:

⁹ Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.

And in Ian and Alec's case, I certainly agree! Despite their occasional squabbles, I can't imagine one without the other. They are playmates, partners and pals. Even as I type this one is outside playing while the other obstinately dallies at drinking his morning milk, but the two of them are calling to one another across the distance with encouragement and updates. They are funny little guys.

Both boys have picked up speed with their verbal abilities again, talking lots (and loudly!) I honestly could not count the number of times a day we hear the phrase, "OH! BIG TRUCK!" which is their constant enthrallment whenever they hear - or even think they hear - one rumbling up the road. The amusing part is the way they pronounce the phrase with extra syllables, so "big truck" actually comes out sounding more like "I beat you up" every time. Then again, maybe that is what they are saying. Who knows?? :)

Ian's third birthday is just around the corner and we are thinking of how to celebrate that in a fun way as a family. He is such an exuberant little boy and I can't wait to see his eyes light up when he realizes it is a day set aside just for him! This is the first birthday we have spent together and I know it will be a special one.

Each day is an adventure with these two and their shenanigans!

Brothers & Sisters

2010-11-27T00:24:00.003-03:00

Sweet Little Man

2010-11-25T19:56:00.004-03:00

Over the past couple of days I have noticed that Ian is truly becoming a sweet little man.

Two situations were especially cute. One was yesterday morning when I was buckling Ian into his carseat. He happened to be on the side of the van that opened into the street and there was the occasional car passing by. When he heard one coming, he tugged on my arm and tried to pull me further into the van. "Mommy! Watch out, Mommy!" he said with great concern. It was pretty adorable.

The other time was when I was sitting on the stairs with my head in my hands after a tiring day. Ian came hurrying over to me and asked, "Mommy, what happened? What happened, Mommy?" He was so solicitous!

These are the sweet memories I cherish amidst the craziness. :)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (video)

2010-11-22T13:41:00.002-03:00

Today I finally caught the little boys on video using their own cute word for "airplane" -

And later, I captured their excitement over anything "machine" related -

Alec & Owen

2010-11-19T13:32:00.002-03:00

enjoying some big brother/little brother time

This afternoon Alec and I walked to Owen's school to pick him up from Kindergarten.

(Note: Picking up their big brother is always a highlight of the day for both Ian and Alec, but on this occasion Ian was invited to go downtown and run errands with Daddy. They ended up in the middle of a protest march and had quite an exciting time themselves!)

But back to this story ... As Alec and Owen walked home hand in hand, Owen expressed how much he likes his little brother. More specifically, he announced: "I like Alec because I think he matches me!" When pressed for further explanation, he told me that he thinks his skin tone and Alec's are the most similar in the family. Lately this is very important to Owen so I guess I'm glad he feels this connection!

As a result of their "bonding moment" the two boys had a great time together with just the two of them at home for awhile longer. Ice cream and cartoons topped the to-do list. I snapped this picture as they went to town on popsicles and enjoyed one another's company. A "sweet" moment to remember! :)

Heavy Heart for Haiti

2010-11-15T00:18:00.004-03:00

As I click through many of the blog posts listed in the right-column of this page, my heart is heavy with concern and sadness for Haiti tonight. It is so easy to live comfortably day to day now that our sons are safely home, yet that is a luxury not available to the masses in this hurting nation nor to the courageous personnel fighting on the front lines of this battle against cholera. Lord, please show mercy ...

Brothers at the Beach

2010-11-13T00:10:00.005-03:00

Are these good-looking boys or what?? Lately I am constantly getting comments about how much Ian and Alec have grown, and it really is true. I like to joke that Ian grows "up" and Alec grows "out" because where they used to be close in height, Ian is now a head taller than his younger brother. And what Alec lacks in height, he certainly makes up in mass! He still uses that to his advantage sometimes, when he wants to intimidate big brother - and nearly always succeeds.

To Alec's credit, he did use his bulk to save a "damsel in distress" this week. We were at Owen's school to pick him up from Kindergarten, and the little boys love to play in the patio area while we wait. On this particular day a mean-spirited little boy decided to play tough with a curly-haired little girl and took her dolly away. I didn't witness the exchange as my back was turned, but another mom informed me that Alec immediately set the boy straight by jerking the doll out of his hand and promptly returning it to its grateful owner. So maybe we have a gentleman in the making after all! :)

Today we headed to the beach for a brief hour to have some family time and get some fresh air. I have to remind myself that Ian and Alec's experiences at the beach can probably still be counted on one hand, especially when they start to dig and throw sand and get completely messy from head to toe! At one point today, Ian decided to fling himself on the ground and simply lay there. It turned out to be just the invitation Alec needed to get into wrestling position, as you can see from the picture below!

It looks like Ian is smiling but really he was squealing and yelling, "Alec, OFF! Alec, OFF!" Of course, when the tables were turned a few minutes later he was quick to try and exact his revenge.

I love this last picture of the boys. In the background is our corner of Iquique, the area of town where we live just a few miles up the hill. It reminds me to be so thankful for the beauty that surrounds us, in the sand and the surf and the sea ... but most of all, for the two little brothers at the beach and finally in our home.

Happy Family

2010-11-07T22:07:00.002-03:00

Mercy

2010-11-04T21:56:00.005-03:00

Tonight Haiti braces for a terrible storm. It is hard to wrap my mind around the reality of what that means for hundreds of thousands of people in makeshift shelters. Mothers and fathers, children and the elderly, facing nature's onslaught with little to nothing for protection. On the RHFH Rescue Center blog, photos of their preparations to withstand the storm serve as a stark reminder of this oncoming threat.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away I have experienced the luxury of holding and rocking my Haitian sons, of praying with them and placing them safely in their cribs with all likelihood of another quiet and peaceful night in our comfortable, dry home.

My heart is heavy with the weight of privilege and pain tonight.

Oh Lord, have mercy.

Little Goofballs (video)

2010-11-04T12:03:00.000-03:00

A Flight of Firsts

2010-11-02T22:44:00.002-03:00

Flying to Santiago and back with our boys went so much more smoothly than we could have anticipated. Granted, Ian and Alec got a bit antsy in their airplane seats and tore apart their complimentary headsets but otherwise they did great! :)

One of the funniest things was hearing their made-up word for airplane. At first we thought we had misunderstood but the more we heard them say it in context, the more convinced we became of what they were saying. Imagine the flight of a bumblebee and the sound "z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z" really fast with each "z" enunciated and that is the "word" they were using! It was too cute.

I included the above picture because a highlight of passing through the Santiago airport for our kids is stopping at Dunkin Donuts (which we don't have in Iquique.) We purchased half a dozen donuts for an exorbitant amount and then watched our children chow down in delight. Halfway through we realized this was Ian and Alec's first donut, ever!

And that, of course, deserved to be documented for posterity. :)

Back Where We Started

2010-10-30T17:30:00.000-03:00

Somewhere in the depths of the fortress-like United States Embassy in the city of Santiago de Chile, there is a woman who made a difference in our story of adoption from Haiti.

I remember our first meeting well. Having made an appointment for fingerprinting, Pedro and I arrived and waited for a summons to a small private room off the main waiting area. We were somewhat surprised to learn that our fingerprints would be taken the real "old-fashioned" way - ink smudges and all - and somewhat amused when the Embassy liaison who would be taking our prints arrived dressed in white from head to toe. By her own admission she had forgotten about the prints when choosing her outfit, so she asked us to please be careful not to touch her! For our part we were just thankful to check off another step of our lengthy process and did our best to comply.

Months later, we were no closer to bringing the boys home and fingerprints rolled around again. We met with the same woman (not dressed in white this time!) and on this occasion our children accompanied us. I think they helped to put a face to our names and from that point on our communication via e-mail was quite cordial.

After the earthquake, she was quite anxious to help us and did her best to communicate with the powers that be on her end to see if there was something that could be done to expedite our boys' extradition from Haiti. God saw fit to intervene and do things in His own perfect way, however, so by the time the consul gave us a personal phone call we were already on a flight to pick up our sons. Even so we were very appreciate of the efforts made of our behalf by this woman.

Since the boys' homecoming, we've had occasion to communicate with a few questions by e-mail and her responses are always prompt and very helpful. In fact, she was able to clarify for us that we could indeed apply for Ian and Alec's social security cards through the Embassy and so we made an appointment to do so this week during our visit to Santiago.

At the appointment, we asked to see her and she was delighted to appear along with several co-workers to meet the children she had worked diligently to assist in coming home! It was a special moment to witness this process come full circle, and to personally thank someone who played a small but important part through it all.

An Airplane Ride

2010-10-25T11:36:00.003-03:00

Later today, Ian and Alec will be boarding an airplane for the first time since they arrived home almost exactly nine months ago. Whenever I ask them, "Who wants to go on an airplane?" they both lift their hands in the air and shout "YES! A-plane! A-plane!"

I'm still not convinced they actually realize they'll be flying again, but their excitement warms my heart. I was a little concerned that they would get clingy or moody with the packing but so far the most they've questioned it was when Ian asked, "Where going, Mommy? Where going?"

I must admit my heart tightened a bit when he asked me that and I was for a moment flooded with memories of packing up to leave Haiti - not once, not twice, but three times packing my bags and saying goodbye to my precious little sons. Pedro assures me that the boys don't remember my leaving (because in truth they may not have even realized I was different than any other visitor that came their way during their lives at the orphanage.) But even so I wonder what they think when they see suitcases lined up once again.

The fact that they seemed nonplussed by the whole thing encourages me that they have fully settled in with our family and that their hearts truly call this home. I love that. Ironically the one with more "issues" might be me, as I recently had occasion to reflect on our whole journey with a visiting friend who was meeting our boys for the first time. Recalling all that we went through and all that the boys experienced reminded me of the miracles and joys but also of the burdens and heartaches. Sometimes I can hardly believe it all!

It is the stuff stories are made of ... And it is why I am thankful that the Author is One I call Father and Friend.

Hi!

2010-10-24T01:35:00.004-03:00

I don't have a blog counter set up any longer, so I really have no idea how many or few people still visit this little corner of the internet. It has been such a comfortable place to share the wild and crazy journey of our Haitian adoption, and it is incredible to think that we are at nine months and counting since Ian and Alec finally came home. My thoughts at this point are to close the blog once we reach the one-year anniversary of their homecoming. We'll see.

A friend captured this picture of Alec last week and I thought it was so cute. If you are one of those who visits and reads our story, would you take time to say "Hi!?"

I Have a Talker

2010-10-22T23:43:00.002-03:00

This afternoon, Ian and I walked hand in hand to our neighborhood store two blocks away. In the five minutes or less it took us to reach the store, I don't think he stopped talking once. It didn't matter if I answered or not, he just kept on jibber jabbering at high speed the entire way! I had to chuckle, as he reminds me of his older sister Eva in this regard. It was also cute and endearing because I could only make out one word out of every six or so. I picked out "Mommy!" and "Car!" and "Truck!" and "Dog!" among a few others.

It is a joy to be his Mom.

Is International Adoption the Right Response?

2010-10-22T09:35:00.003-03:00

This thoughtful post by a fellow adoptive mom is well worth reading:

Is International Adoption the Right Response?

Two Haitian Babies Needing Homes

2010-10-21T21:19:00.003-03:00

A stateside liaison for our orphanage director shared this need via Facebook today:

I have two ... Haitian babies available for medical visas and then adoption. One is 2 months old and has bilateral club feet and the other is 2 and has hearing problems. We are not sure what is involved with the hearing problems. Both would need pro-bono medical care to be qualified to come to America. They MUST go to Christian homes. Please let me know if you are interested.

Please spread the word for these sweet children - and please pray as well for protection from the cholera outbreak that has recently been reported in Haiti!

Enjoying Each Other's Company

2010-10-13T01:46:00.005-03:00

Lately Eva and Ian can often be found playing together. What she seems to enjoy about her little brother is his willingness to follow her around like a loyal puppy and do everything she tells him to do. What he seems to enjoy about his big sister is her enthusiasm, creativity and affectionate attention (at least while he is following her orders!)

On one of their recent playful mornings, Eva asked permission to borrow this backpack carrier so she could carry her little brother around the patio. As you can see, they both thought it was pretty funny! The experience didn't last long because he was a bit heavier than Eva anticipated, but they both enjoyed it while it lasted.

I love seeing my children having fun in each other's company. :)

A Visitor in Uniform

2010-10-13T01:34:00.002-03:00

This afternoon the little boys were playing in our front patio when a man in military uniform stopped by the gate. They greeted him animatedly and he asked their names. As we spoke he revealed that he had spent six months in Haiti and was quite moved by his time there. I shared that on our first trip to Haiti in 2008 we had met a Chilean soldier at our hotel's breakfast buffet. Our orphanage director also told us on that trip that the Chilean military were well-respected in their peacekeeping efforts in Haiti.

It is always neat to experience even a little connection like this one to the land of Ian and Alec's birth.

Little Boys in Flowered Shirts

2010-10-09T11:17:00.002-04:00

Little Boys in PJ's

2010-10-07T12:22:00.003-04:00

Why I Chose to Adopt

2010-10-05T00:06:00.007-04:00

Maybe another day, I will write about why I chose to adopt. But today, I encourage you to go to Debra's post with this same title and read her story. Then, I hope you will visit Heather's blog and read this post.

One comment after Heather's post stood out to me. I think I will be mulling it over for quite awhile:

one thing that was said this weekend that i cant get out of my head: God is the father to the fatherless. these children have a heavenly daddy who LOVES them. but if the church is the BRIDE of christ, than that makes us a mommy to the fatherless ... i pray for the church, the mommy, to step up and step into the lives of orphans around the world

It's a No-Win Situation

2010-10-03T21:24:00.004-04:00

I've observed an amusing phenomenon in our home of late. It has to do with Ian and Alec and their ability (or rather, inability) to entertain themselves one without the other.

First scenario: Both boys are in their high chairs after breakfast, under strict orders to finish their milk so they can get down and play. With some encouragement Ian finishes first and happily hops down, calling out a merry, "Bye, Alec!" as he scampers out the kitchen door.

In about one minute ... he's back. Hovering around his brother's feet, he begins to poke his fingers into cupboards and foodstuffs until he is ordered "out of the kitchen! Go play!" His departure lasts for about another minute before he is hovering again. And so it goes over and over until finally, Alec can get down and the two of them can get into mischief together. Once the two peas in the pod are reunited, all is well.

Second scenario: Ian and Alec are playing outside when suddenly wails erupt and Alec indignantly informs me, "Ian hit!" The penitent offender is temporarily removed from playtime, but rather than enjoy freedom from abuse the victim insists on hanging around and trying to engage his brother in conversation and laughter. Despite being encouraged time and again to go outside and play, he repeatedly returns until his playmate is released. Once they are together again, the fun continues.

So as I like to say to my husband, in Ian and Alec's case getting your brother into trouble or beating him at a milk drinking competition is a "no-win" situation. Or to put it more poetically, I thought the quotes below captured these two perfectly!

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
~Menclus

In my friend, I find a second self.
~Isabel Norton

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
~Aristotle

Are we not like two volumes of one book?
~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.
~Author Unknown

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
~A.A. Milne

If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.
~Author Unknown

Reading Is Fun with a Friend (video)

2010-09-27T09:58:00.000-04:00

Breakfast Can Be a Dangerous Affair

2010-09-27T09:19:00.002-04:00

... at least Ian appears to think so! :)

Got Milk?

2010-09-21T08:25:00.004-04:00

I Love Them

2010-09-16T08:38:00.003-04:00

I don't know if I've said it lately on this blog, so let me just say it again: I love my boys.

Yes, there are daily hair-pulling moments. But then there are so many daily oh-how-adorable-I-hope-I-never-forget-this-I-should-really-write-it-down! moments.

Like last night before dinner when Ian and Alec were in their high chairs singing loudly off key and then I sang with them, taking turns holding one little hand and then the other, and they kept reaching out their hands for more holding and more loving and more kisses.

Or yesterday when upon my return from the grocery store I was received by two little toddlers racing over to me, flinging their bodies upon me, wrapping their arms around my legs, all the while exclaiming in ecstasy, "Moooommy! Moooommy Home! Moooommy!"

Then there are the moments they will actually stop and snuggle, and Ian will play with my hair and often he will spontaneously break out into the song we made up for them that goes: "Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you, We love you so much ..." which he has memorized and hopefully taken deeply to heart.

And so many more ... I wish I could trust that my mind is filing all of these memories away safely but I know myself too well and realize eventually they will be forgotten. So I savor them now, and write some down, and hope that someday my children will read this and know how much ... I Love Them.

At the Park with Daddy

2010-09-12T23:29:00.005-04:00

You can tell from these pictures that Pedro is a fun-loving, wrestling sort of daddy. After living surrounded by mostly women, that has taken a little getting used to for our boys!

Sometimes feelings have been sensitive and tears have been shed. But just one look at these faces will tell you that for the most part, Ian and Alec love the wild boyish play!

Perhaps the greatest gift our boys have been given
is the love and presence of a father.

Cutesie Lil' Tootsies

2010-09-10T09:58:00.003-04:00

Ian's toes, September 2010

A New Friend

2010-09-08T11:25:00.004-04:00

Recently the boys made a new little friend. Her name is Sofia. Isn't she cute?? Alec especially liked the toys that came with her.

He also liked to give Sofa kisses. Fortunately, her mom and dad didn't seem to mind!

And snuggling with Sofia was fun, too. In fact, both Ian and Alec had so much fun with little Sofia and were so kind and gentle with her that I suggested to Daddy that maybe they would enjoy being big brothers!

I'll let you guess as to his answer to that. :)

Sweet Snuggling

2010-09-01T21:24:00.007-04:00

Tonight we were trying to "slow down the revolutions" with Ian and Alec before bed, as they had taken a late nap and were wired for sound! Daddy took Ian into the computer room for some snuggle time while I had Alec in the living room. A favorite book on the shelf caught Alec's eye and I let him leaf through it while we cozied up together in the easy chair.

Alec just loves this little book. I bought it years ago with a gift card from my mother-in-law but never has it received as much attention as it does these days! He will take it out to the front patio and leaf through it or sit on the couch and look at it, and always he will be gasping, "Baby! Baby!" or in some case he will exclaim, "Owen! Owen!" (because he is convinced Owen was photographed by Anne Geddes once upon a time.)

Tonight was extra sweet, however, because with just a reading lamp overhead and Alec in his warm fuzzy jammies, we looked through the book and all of his commentary was made in a cute little whisper. Often he would show me a picture and raise his finger to his lips, making a shushing sound while saying, "Baby 'peeping, baby 'peeping" which meant that we needed to take care not to wake the sleeping baby in the photograph!

I've got a nasty cough and several times I had a little coughing fit while we were doing this. After I finally caught my breath each time Alec would ask solicitously, 'Kay, Mommy? 'Kay, Mommy? to make sure I was all right. It was so adorable and these are the tender moments that make me fall in love with my kids more and more.

Look What I'm Learning

2010-08-30T17:57:00.004-04:00

I've always thought it is adorable when babies start to recognize the parts of their own body such as head and nose and eyes and ears and fingers and toes. Lately Pedro has been playing this "Where Is Your?" game with the boys and Alec really gets into it! I snapped these pictures this morning while the little boys were in the bathtub:

where's your nose?

where's your head?

where's your fingers?

where's your ears?

where's your chin?

where's your cheeks?

... And of course that last picture is ultra-adorable because, what chubby cheeks they are!

Sweet Ian

2010-08-26T22:15:00.007-04:00

The other day we were in the waiting room of the Teleton, where Isabel receives her physical and occupational therapies. Another mom was also there with a seemingly unresponsive older child who appeared to have severe physical and mental challenges and who was confined to a wheelchair. Suddenly Ian left the area where he was playing with his brother and approached the mother and child. He reached out to take the child's hand in his and gently stroked it as the mother spoke softly to him. I was so touched by this evidence of compassion in Ian. I have noted it before and hope that compassion will always form an integral part of his character. He is truly our "sweet Ian."

Another Generation of Larry-Boy Fans

2010-08-26T10:19:00.000-04:00

Turning a Corner

2010-08-25T22:17:00.003-04:00

Lately I have felt that we are turning a corner with our little boys. After seven months, it seems as though we are finally "gelling" as a family. Suddenly it is not so much "us" and "them" as in older kids vs. younger kids and trying to juggle the needs of each group, but more of "we" and seeing the girls especially take an interest in playing with their little brothers and helping take care of them without being prodded to do so.

It also means that Ian and Alec are happy to be with all their family members rather than clinging quite as much to Mommy - although on the other hand, I find that they are much more affectionate of their own accord, especially Ian who now seems to seek out snuggling and holding rather than being too busy to stop and be held.

I cherish this new rhythm of family life. I am a little nervous, because on Friday I leave for three days and I hope my being gone won't be too disruptive to our new, more comfortable "normal." But at the same time I recognize the value of one-on-one Daddy time and the way my absence will force Ian and Alec especially to depend on him rather than on me. I think it will be a good exercise in bonding - and patience, no doubt! :)

Evie

2010-08-24T08:51:00.003-04:00

Evie on our first visit to Haiti, September 2008

Evie is a little girl at our sons' orphanage in Haiti. I have seen her on every visit to Haiti and often hoped that soon she would have her own family and a loving home. Today I rejoiced to read that finally she had received a US visa and was headed to the airport to fly to the waiting arms of a family in Indiana! Unfortunately, before reaching the airport word was received that Haitian immigration had rejected Evie. You can read her story on the August 24 post of this blog: http://dieunika.blogspot.com/.

Please pray for a quick resolution for this sweet little girl and her waiting family!

Thoughts on Mornings at Home

2010-08-19T14:15:00.004-04:00

By 8:30 every morning, the house basically belongs to Ian, Alec and me. Long ago when the boys first arrived they would actually still be sleeping at that hour and it was wonderfully quiet for a few sweet minutes. But now they are usually up and at 'em and it is wonderfully busy instead! :)

Alec this morning

Often the boys will be awake and chatty with each other in their room before I get them out of bed. But sometimes Alec will wake up before Ian and he especially seems to like those mornings because he gets the run of the house (and Mommy) all to himself for awhile!

Ian this morning

It's a toss up between eating breakfast and going outside as to which is the boys' favorite way to start the day. Sometimes they are ravenous first thing, and other times they are itching to get going! They still love oatmeal and can devour a huge bowl of it, usually sweetened with a little sugar and milk and some fruit mixed in.

The front patio is a favorite playing place because the sun hits it in the early morning and it is nice and warm. Also, cars are passing by and children are heading to school so there is lots to see and plenty of people to greet! But before long the boys are ready to hit the back patio which is where the real ~~mess~~ fun takes place.

Usually the tiny patch of dry earth where one lone palm tree and one small cactus are planted is off limits to Ian and Alec, for the simple reason that they dig up the dirt and create a small disaster zone. But occasionally - as on mornings like this one - Mommy caves and allows the boys to excavate simply because it means she will have a little more freedom (since the joys of digging will effectively distract the boys for quite awhile!)

I love the expressions on Ian and Alec's faces in the two pictures above because they show just how excited they get over little things and also how "into" each other's business the two of them are (see how intently Ian is focusing on whatever Alec is showing me and exclaiming over in the second picture?) They really are funny little brothers and buddies.

Mornings at home may not be quite as restful as before, nor may quite as much get accomplished, but they still are good times. I have to remind myself of this when I get frazzled and discouraged over the messes and misdeeds of two certain little munchkins! Our time together will go by so quickly and I need to enjoy it while I still can.

When Holding Hurts

2010-08-19T10:30:00.004-04:00

A recent difficult morning with Alec prompted me to write this post, though it has taken me awhile to put my thoughts to words. I have shared before (see "Why Mommy Needs Holding Time") that often we will do "holding time" with our boys as both a means of working through bonding, attachment and even disciplinary issues with them. It is never easy but the end result has been rewarding for all of us.

As the boys have adjusted to our home and family we have gotten somewhat out of the habit of doing holding time, but a week or two ago I experienced situations with each of the boys which prompted me to do so again. The first case was Ian's and the intensity of his anger and resistance startled me and caused me to realize we were probably overdue for this time together. Even so, he settled down within no more than half an hour and then became comfortable and loving as we snuggled together.

In Alec's case, however, the holding time was a result of a morning of repeated defiance and aggressivity. After having to correct him multiple times I felt that we probably needed this one-on-one time together and although I expected resistance I never imagined what was in store. I can only describe his reaction as utter rage which last for almost an hour and left both of us spent and in tears. At one point I cried out to God for help because the force of his fury frightened me. How could a two-year old be so angry for so long with such passion?

At the end of that session there were no "warm fuzzy" feelings for either of us. He was exhausted, though finally accepting of my affection and direction. I was emotionally drained and shaken and unsure whether I would ever try holding time again.

That night I talked to my husband about the experience. He felt I had done the right thing and should continue to do so when needed. As we talked I was reminded of one of our daughters who was every bit as strong-willed and could be just as angry as Alec at this age. Only in her case we had not heard of holding time and instead there were a few occasions where all we could do was put her in her crib and let her scream out her frustrations in there. And she would - for an hour or more sometimes, with just as much fury as her little brother does now. Yet today she is the sweetest, most compassionate child you could meet.

So as I have tried to regain some perspective, I have been encouraged that this will all take time but there is light at the end of the tunnel. No one said parenting would be easy - and multiplied times five we have on some days found it very hard indeed. But nothing truly worthwhile comes without much effort and much prayer. By God's grace we keep loving and learning, holding and healing, and trusting that in time He will knit our hearts and lives together even more tightly than they are now. I am so thankful that the Creator of families holds mine in His loving hands!

Spiderman, Spiderman

2010-08-19T10:18:00.003-04:00

Spidey #1 - aka, Alec

Spidey #2 - aka, Ian

Another Haitian Adoption in Chile

2010-08-15T22:59:00.004-04:00

Below is the link to a Spanish article about a Chilean air force official who adopted a five-year old daughter from Haiti after meeting her during his tour of duty in 2005. I exchanged messages with the family around the time our boys were coming home but have not yet met them (even though we live in the same city.)

http://revistaadopcionyfamilia.blogspot.com/2010/08/adopcion-interracial.html

One comment that stood out to me in the article was this one, as we've often appreciated this difference about Iquique. I've translated it to English:

"They also comment that in the north of our country it is not surprising to encounter people of other races, there is a multiracial openness and the resulting social coexistence is more tolerant and integrated, which facilitates the adaptation of the little girl."

Ouch!

2010-08-13T13:30:00.001-04:00

A few days ago Alec gave his poor sister and yours truly quite a scare! He and Isabel were hanging out in the front patio when he tripped and fell, hitting his head on the corner of a large cement flagpole stand. Since usually the cries around our house are related to injuries not life-threatening, I responded immediately but took my time walking around the house to see what was the matter.

Much to my shock, blood was running down Alec's face and out of his mouth. Isabel was frightened and I could tell she was quickly spiraling towards panic, so I did my best not to follow suit and to keep the atmosphere calm. We hurried inside and sat him on a kitchen stool while I located a clean cloth and soaked it in some cool water. My first impression was that Alec had a head wound as well as possibly having knocked out a tooth.

Okay, now this is somewhat humorous and I hope this doesn't make me a terrible mom, but I do have to admit something. Even as I cleaned up my child I kept thinking in the back of my mind, "I should have taken a picture!" That's what scrapbooking will do to you! But as you can see, I did exert self-control and waited until we had established that he was fine. :)

Alec bravely applies pressure to his head wound

As it turns out, the only wound Alec had was a small gash at his hairline and a goose egg on his forehead. I had always heard that head wounds bleed a lot, and now I can attest to that fact!

Thankfully, he bounced right back and much to Mommy's dismay, just a few minutes later he was discovered trying to stand and balance himself on top of Daddy's briefcase which was wobbling precariously on the (rock-hard) tile floor of the living room.

Good thing Alec likes the tough-guy bandaid look, because I have a feeling he and bandaids stand a chance of becoming very close friends! :)

looking cool after all the excitement

Two Happy Boys

2010-08-12T13:02:00.000-04:00

The "Don't Mess With Me" Look

2010-08-12T12:40:00.005-04:00

This picture makes me laugh because it is so *not* Ian's personality. He loves to make people laugh in any way he can and when I snapped this he was actually strutting around with great pride in himself because Mommy was giggling at his unusual attire! It was too cute not to share. :)

Update on CoC - Certificate of Citizenship

2010-08-10T21:34:00.002-04:00

I am so overdue in sharing this news, but until they were in my hands (which occurred two weeks ago with the visit of my parents) I hesitated to shout it from the rooftops.

Perhaps you remember when back in February we received word that despite being US passport holders and having entered the United States from Haiti on immigrant visas, each of our sons was denied his Certificate of Citizenship.

Then in April we unexpectedly received a letter from USCIS requesting 2x2 photographs of both Ian and Alec, and it was suggested that perhaps the CoC's were being processed after all.

In addition, we had a fellow adoptive father offer to make discreet inquiries on our behalf since he had the ear of someone at the office and next thing we knew, the CoC's were on their way!

We are so grateful to God for moving this way and to the many who prayed with us for this wonderful answer. To God be the glory!

Love, Love, Love This Post

2010-08-09T16:55:00.004-04:00

Edited with correct link thanks to my sister Terri! :)

All I can say after reading this post is ... Wow. Sometimes the hidden thoughts of our sons and daughters are truly amazing, heartwrenching, beautiful.

"You Are The Sky; I Am The Sun" ... post by Sheri Gragg

Love Does Not Depend on Biology

2010-08-05T13:30:00.004-04:00

Alec & Mom-Mom, August 2010

http://themummerts.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/relative/

The "Terrible Twos"

2010-08-04T21:09:00.001-04:00

Yes, indeed ... I believe we are entering this infamous stage with our two youngest little boys.

Last week we experienced a "doozy" of a day in this regard. The morning had begun, and the older three kids were off to school. I was getting dressed with an ear to the two little boys playing downstairs. A change in their voices alerted me that they might be up to some mischief, and when I came downstairs I found evidence of that fact ... an empty box of Pepto-Bismol cherry-flavored tablets, a half-chewed package of four, and pink slobbery remnants on the floor and dripping down the shirt of one small person named Ian! Fortunately the package was somewhat child-proof and at most I think he ingested one tablet, but Mommy was not a happy camper - especially since he had eyed up that box on another occasion when it happened to be in sight and had been sternly warned that it was a "no-no!"

But plans are plans, and mine included a child-free outing with my mom who was visiting from the States, so we left the boys in the care of a babysitter and comfortably ensconced (and belted) in their special booster seats with the movie Cars capturing their full attention and keeping them out of further trouble - or so we thought. Unfortunately, when the sitter's back was turned Ian managed to literally hop his plastic seat over to the computer desk and grab a pack of Sharpie markers. She thus found him happily painting his face, hands, and new pants a variety of permanent colors!

Soon after that she fed the boys lunch and put them in their cribs for naptime. I have to preface this third incident with the note that Ian's crib is within reaching distance of the clothes in the boys' closet. However, he had been doing really well at keeping his hands off this temptation in recent weeks. Not so on this day. While he was supposed to be sleeping he instead pulled the clothes which had been neatly washed, folded and put away just that morning, into a collosal mess on the bedroom floor. Needless to say, this was not a good choice!

So as you can see we have entered this new phase with a bang. I'll try to be sure and record some of these stories for posterity, and I choose to believe I will laugh at them someday ... like when my kids' own children are putting them through hair-raising days such as this one! :)

A Beautiful Story

2010-07-29T09:50:00.002-04:00

This is a beautiful story of another miracle out of Haiti's tragic earthquake - look at the smiles on their faces!

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/836456-haiti-earthquake-mother-reunited-with-baby-she-thought-had-been-killed

See No Evil

2010-07-27T18:14:00.002-04:00

The Boys in Action

2010-07-25T23:48:00.002-04:00

I thought it would be fun to share a few recent videos of the boys in action. This first one was taken at a nearby park one evening last week. The funniest moment is Ian's reaction when Alec slides down behind him before he has a chance to get out of his brother's way:

This was my attempt at an "interview" with Ian and Alec. They were more interested in what might be behind the camera than standing in front of it for me! I didn't understand what Ian was saying at the time, but later realized he was saying "Hi Grandma!" They are used to seeing their grandparents via Skype so he must think Grandma lives inside any electronic screen:

I am entitling this video The "Mommy" Game because the boys apparently like to pretend they are falling and crying out to Mommy for help! It is funny but not so much when you are the Mommy and you are working in another part of the house and can't tell if they really need you or are just playing. After several trips to check on the boys I finally left them to their own devices. As you can see, they know how to make their own fun, with or without me! :)

Caption This

2010-07-21T21:27:00.003-04:00

It's been quite awhile since I did a post requesting reader captions but really, who could resist with this picture??? Today at the park:

Woolen Hats & Winsome Smiles

2010-07-21T21:19:00.003-04:00

Six Months Home

2010-07-21T01:23:00.003-04:00

This week we quietly rejoiced in the six-month anniversary of Ian and Alec's homecoming from Haiti. Having Pedro's parents and sister visiting during this time made it all the more sweeter, as we were able to appreciate and enjoy our sons anew through the eyes of their paternal grandparents and aunt who met them for the very first time. Next week my parents arrive and I look forward to their observations about how much the boys have changed since their arrival in January (we had the sweet privilege of sharing those first homecoming days in Florida with them but my parents have not seen the boys since.)

My observations of Ian and Alec at six months are that the two of them seem happy and comfortable in our family unit. They recognize each family member and respond with affection to all of us. They are also comfortable enough now to reciprocate the teasing and "picking" of their older brother and sisters! But between the two of them there has formed an extra-special bond. They are playmates; co-conspirators; rivals; and best friends.

Today I had Alec on my lap and Ian took a small spill in front of us. I gathered him up as well, and with the two of them on my lap I saw Alec stretch his arm across his brother's shoulder in a gesture of comfort and camaraderie. Earlier this week I witnessed something similar as sitting side by side, they had their arms around each other and one was leaning his head on his brother's shoulder. Their relationship is not without its battles but it is so very sweet.

One observation I have recently made concerns their language development. Suddenly Alec seems to be moving forward in this area while Ian seems to have taken two steps back. From his year of intensive language study in Texas, Pedro seems to remember that it is common for the brain to sometimes have to take "time off" to process new language acquisition and that is what appears to be happening with Ian. He is still very verbal but seems to speak more gibberish while Alec is stringing words together (mostly things like "Ian fight" and "Ian bite" and other important pronouncements of the sort!)

It's trite, but on one hand it seems like yesterday that the boys came home and on the other it seems like forever. We have our moments of frustration and our moments of laughter but it is so worth it to finally be together as a family. Thank You, Lord, for this precious gift!

Start the Day with a Smile

2010-07-18T21:24:00.003-04:00

Serious Faces

2010-07-16T15:35:00.005-04:00

Ian and Alec are actually having a wonderful time with their grandparents and Aunt Nina, but I happened to catch these serious faces during our recent visit to the "Painted Hills" (geoglyphs) of the Atacama Desert where we live. They were too cute not to share!

Tomorrow

2010-07-05T14:06:00.002-04:00

... Ian and Alec meet their paternal grandparents and aunt for the first time.

Grandpa and Grandma Garcia and Aunt Nina will be hopping a plane in just a few short hours for their first visit to Chile and our first face-to-face visit as a family since we left the States three years ago. We can't wait to introduce them to their newest grandsons!

The Way They Obey (video)

2010-07-03T10:27:00.002-04:00

The title to this video is meant to be tongue-in-cheek ... because as you can see, obedience is still a work in progress around here! I stopped filming to remove Ian from the stoop after he refused to come down on his own, and about two minutes later I looked up again to see that BOTH boys had sneakily climbed up and BOTH boys were standing inside the box and on top of the stoop!

Never a dull moment around here ...

Welcoming Daddy Home (video)

2010-07-02T08:28:00.001-04:00

I happened to be filming when Daddy drove up yesterday and caught the boys' reaction on camera. It is so cute! Notice how they start giggling and hurrying backwards when they think Daddy is coming after them. He is their favorite "monster!"

A Visit to the ER

2010-06-30T15:28:00.004-04:00

Both little boys have been battling colds this week but Alec's turned into a nasty wheezing late yesterday afternoon. We watched it until bedtime and later when I checked him before turning in his shortness and quickness of breath concerned me. Since experiencing two breathing-related hospitalizations for our older son Owen at this same age, I tend to prefer being safe than sorry and so we decided that I would take Alec into the ER to be checked out. It was close to 1 a.m. by the time I arrived but thankfully our wait was short.

Unfortunately, Alec put up a fight the minute I tried to undress him for the doctor to take a look. He is incredibly strong and aggressive when he gets angry. Screaming, making himself stiff as a board, kicking, grabbing hold of his clothes so I had to peel his hands off finger by finger, even smacking me across the face ... it was quite the show. The doctor's diagnosis was "acute sinusitis" with observations of nasal congestion, slight fever, and respiratory difficulties. She ordered two nebulizer treatments while we were there.

Of course, nebulizing a violently irate two-year old was no easy task. The first time, I sat with Alec on the hospital bed and tried my best to control his flailing arms and legs while trying to keep the mask in place so it would do its job. Alec fought and screamed at the top of his lungs during the entire treatment, relaxing only once the mask was removed and we were given a few minutes' break before the next round.

I took off my shoes and sat cross-legged on the bed with my legs circling Alec and his legs under one of mine for the second treatment. With one arm I restrained both of his and with the other I held his mask. It was still an effort but not such a battle as the first time, and finally during the last 5-10 minutes of the treatment he settled down and rested against me. I think we each breathed a sigh of relief at that point!

Nothing about this ER visit had to be painful (meaning no pricks or pokes this time) but Alec's stubborn resistance made it a bit traumatic for both of us. I think I was sincerely empathetic to the fact that all of this was frightening and new to him, yet I would be less than honest if I didn't admit that I was also frustrated and even embarrassed by my own child hitting me in front of the nurses (more than once, and even the nurses were trying to tell him, "No, no, you shouldn't hit mommy like that!") But I am grateful for God's presence with us enabling me to stay calm and Alec to eventually reach that point of trusting me again.

If anything, I was reminded that our relationship as mother and son is still a fragile one. Whereas Owen knew that he could trust me even in a scary situation because of the bond we had nurtured since he was five days old, Alec has only five months of trust built with me. (That's not to say that Owen didn't put up a fight - as this account of his first hospital experience reminded me - but his fight was with the nurses and procedures, not with Mommy.) In the end, I am thankful for the experience as difficult as it was because this morning Alec seemed to look at me with different eyes and seek me for greater comfort than he has in recent days. I am hopeful that this is one more circumstance where we will look back and see that God uses "all things for good."

The Gift of Family (re-posted)

2010-06-29T16:36:00.000-04:00

Why Mommy Needs Holding Time

2010-06-29T09:51:00.000-04:00

The excitement of two little boys ready to take the world by storm deteriorated all-too-quickly into the exasperation of two little boys ready to take Mommy by storm with a battle of their wills at breakfast time.

And all over a simple cup of milk.

When the boys do not want to do something, they simply put the word "Uh-Uh" (as in "no") before whatever it is they are refusing. In this particular case, the phrase was "Uh-Uh milk! Uh-Uh milk!" while attempting to remove the cups from their highchair trays and onto a nearby counter.

It was first thing in the morning. With nothing to eat or drink since the night before, they should have been plenty excited to get something into their little tummies! But apparently ... not milk.

To ward off their efforts to get rid of the offending cups I moved the boys into the middle of the kitchen, away from other counters. I also took away Alec's toy which was keeping him wonderfully entertained while he refused to do what he was being told. In the meantime I continued making their oatmeal and encouraging them that they could eat as soon as they drank some milk.

Stoically they watched me work and continued to refuse their cups. "Uh-Uh milk" ... and they moved their cups to one corner of the tray. "Uh-Uh milk" ... and they scooted them to the center. "Uh-Uh milk" ... now to the other side.

I was annoyed but determined not to lose my cool. I simply took my time unloading the dishwasher, starting a load of laundry, and eating my own breakfast while encouraging them periodically to drink their milk so they could eat theirs. Finally, Alec caved and began drinking so that he could have his oatmeal. Yay! One down, one to go.

While Alec ate, Ian opened his mouth and whimpered for a bite. "Drink your milk, then eat." I must have said it a dozen times. "Uh-Uh milk! UH-UH MIIIILK!" he yelled back. I turned his chair around so he couldn't watch his brother anymore. A tear slipped down his cheek but he still refused to budge.

Alec finished his breakfast and got down to play. "Down! Down!" Ian requested. "Drink your milk, then get down." He didn't like my answer. You can already imagine his. "Uh-Uh milk! Uh-Uh milk!" By now my blood was starting to boil. We had been at this battle of the wills for nearly an hour. I began reciting his options. "Drink your milk, then eat. Drink your milk, then get down. Drink your milk, then play. Don't drink your milk, go night-night!"

And still he refused. He stubbornly, purposely, insistently, vociferously refused. I was at my wit's end and finally decided to put him back to bed. As I was doing so, the thought crossed my mind: Maybe I should do holding time.

Holding time is described in Dr. Martha Welch's book as using "intense physical and emotional contact to reinforce the connection between you and your child." It is a form of therapy initially found to be successful in her work with autistic children and their mothers, and basically involves a private, uninterrupted time of firmly holding one's child despite their struggles and often through their aggression while making eye contact and speaking lovingly to him or her.

This book was required reading for Pedro and me some years ago when working with a Christian adoption agency in the States, as the holding time technique is highly recommended for attachment therapy as well. I have been revisiting the book since Ian and Alec came home from Haiti and have felt on a couple of occasions a breakthrough with the boys while doing holding time with them.

So instead of laying Ian down, I arranged some pillows comfortably on the twin bed in his room and cradled him on my lap as we sat together on the bed. Knowing how he hates to be restrained (unless he is just waking up he rarely stays still on my lap for more than a minute or two) I wrapped a blanket around the two of us, tucking it under my legs so we were both securely snuggled together. As expected, Ian wrestled and cried at first but soon settled down. I sang to him and though occasionally he would struggle again, for the most part he relaxed against me. And then out of the blue and completely of his own volition, he touched my face and said "Saw-ry, Mommy."

In part this was an attempt to get down, as he immediately tried to sit up and get off my lap. But when I didn't budge he relaxed again and a few minutes later repeated, "Sorry, Mommy." I stopped singing then and began talking to him gently, telling him how much I loved him no matter what and how happy I was that he was finally home with us. As I spoke his eyelids grew heavy and soon he was fast asleep in my arms.

I held him that way for a long time, looking at his sweet face and realizing that I needed this holding time just as much as he did. I went into it so frustrated after an hour of battling his strong will. Yet I left it feeling only love for my precious child and empathy for everything he has gone through in his short life. Holding time is not just for my children. It's for Mommy, too.

Doctor's Visit

2010-06-22T00:25:00.002-04:00

Today we took four of our five kids to the doctor for well visits. For those who follow these kind of stats, here is the scoop on Ian and Alec's growth since they came home:

Ian now weighs 25.5 lbs (6th percentile) and is 3 ft tall (51st percentile.) This is a gain of 2 lbs and a height increase of 2 inches in five months.

Alec now weighs 29.5 lbs (60th percentile) and is 2 ft, 10 in tall (28th percentile.) This is a gain of 5 lbs and a height increase of 3 inches in five months.

The doctor was pleased with their progress in these areas, as they have both grown consistently even if they still show up on the charts as underweight (Ian) and a little short (Alec.) Her main concern, however, is that their iron is very low - in the 40's and 50's when it should be in the 80's. We had hoped to bring this up with iron-rich foods but were not successful so we will need to do iron drops daily for several months.

She urged us that this was very important because if either of the boys were to become sick it could easily lead to anemia. Also, no surgeon will be willing to even consult on Alec's umbilical hernia surgery if his iron levels are not regulated. So that is our next challenge!

This Boy

2010-06-20T21:15:00.000-04:00

Want to Be Like ... Owen (video)

2010-06-18T16:05:00.002-04:00

Alec really wanted to imitate big brother Owen this morning (read the full story on our family blog here):

Two Boys, One Regret

2010-06-17T22:23:00.002-04:00

I took a nap on the couch today with a sweet warm little boy snuggled on my neck. It was extra special because the times I am able to do so are, well ... practically non-existent. With two little boys each demanding his share of Mommy's attention, I find myself with only one regret and that is my inability to give each of them the individual snuggle time I would like!

Sometimes I feel a little guilty that because they both came home at once neither gets the undivided attention he might have otherwise received. But then I observe how the two of them are practically attached at the hip and the greatest of buddies, and I realize that they have gained just as much in other ways.

At bedtime the boys and I have a little singing/snuggling routine. Again, it has to be shared between the two of them but they seem to be pretty comfortable with it. I sing two songs and pick up a different boy to cradle and rock during each song. It is actually kind of humorous how Ian will wait at the edge of his crib while I rock Alec, and vice versa. The goal is for them to lay down quietly after their turn and for the most part they do pretty well.

During the day, if I sit in the rocking chair Alec will usually be the first to want to climb up. He will take his time rocking with me while Ian clamors to get up and down, up and down. And sometimes both will sit facing forward and lean against me, one on each knee, and we'll enjoy some prolonged rocking together. Those are sweet times, too.

But one-on-one snuggle time to the extent of taking a nap together while the other activities of family life swirl around us?? That is not likely to be repeated anytime soon ... so I will definitely cherish today's extra special memory.

Chile's Newest "Hinchas"

2010-06-16T10:06:00.002-04:00

Ian and Alec are Chile's newest "hinchas" (fans) in this World Cup 2010. Ian's cheers of "DALE CHILE" (dah-lay chee-lay) rival the noise of the vuvuzelas in South Africa! :)

Today Chile won its game against Honduras with a goal by Chilean player Jean Beausejour - who just happens to be half Haitian! So we celebrated extra loudly!

Our family's favorite players in this World Cup are Beausejour on Chile's team and Altidore on USA's team. Both have Haitian roots:

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=209502/index.html

http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=238072/index.html

But today we are definitely cheering Chile on. VIVA CHILE!!

The Many Faces of Ian

2010-06-15T22:09:00.002-04:00

You're a Funny Boy

2010-06-13T22:14:00.002-04:00

Tonight the boys refused their milk before bed so I asked Isabel to hand me their bottles to put in the fridge for tomorrow. When she took Alec's he threw a full-blown fit complete with screaming and banging his head against the back of the high chair.

I walked over and stood in front of Alec, very sternly giving him "the look." Ian, in the seat beside him, took one glimpse at my face and immediately leaned over to instruct his brother as to the proper response: "Yes, Mommy! Yes, Mommy!"

I couldn't help bursting into laughter at Ian's concerned expression and feverish attempt to get Alec to straighten up before things got any worse. Later, when I shared this story with Pedro we laughed again and said to Ian, "You're a funny boy!" His eyes lit up and he got a big grin from ear to ear. I think that may be one of his favorite compliments - he does love to make us laugh! :)

A Mid-Morning (Movie).MPG

2010-06-12T12:01:00.002-04:00

My posts have become more infrequent and I think that is a direct result of having two in the "terrible twos" these days! We have hit a defiant stage that often has me scratching my head (or more accurately, pulling my hair out) and asking myself, "Were my other kids like this at this age?" I honestly can't remember. I've tried to weigh whether it's a personality difference or a numerical difference (two toddlers versus one) or whether I had just blotted it from my memory. :)

At any rate, the camera has been (safely) tucked away but I did manage to get a video of some quiet playtime the other morning and thought I would share. Love these boys as much as ever as we continue to get to know them day by day.

Some Things Never Change

2010-06-06T23:11:00.003-04:00

Tonight we were at a birthday party and several of us got a chuckle out of Alec's obsession with his piece of cake. Whereas the other kids got their sugar high halfway through and abandoned the rest, he continued picking and smearing away until green and white icing was on his face; his hands; his clothes; his chair; and the table in front of him. I let him at it since he was enjoying it so much and I knew a pack of wet wipes was waiting in the wings!

Then I came home and while browsing through old picture files came across this photo sent to me by someone at the boys' orphanage in March 2009:

Needless to say ... Some things never change! :)

APPROVED!

2010-06-04T22:29:00.001-04:00

My sister Terri and her family have been APPROVED to adopt their Sophia ("Beautiful Jade!") God was so gracious and allowed them to get this answer in just three short weeks ... now the work begins in earnest as they must re-update their homestudy and re-do fingerprints and get all their new paperwork notarized and sealed, etc. plus raise the final funds needed to bring Sophia home. Oh, I am beyond thrilled and dying to share a picture but waiting for permission!

PLEASE PRAY:

that God would allow their paperwork to fly through the system with ease and rapidity (the average is 6-8 more months from now)
that He would provide in amazing ways the finances necessary for the orphanage fee, travel expenses, etc.
that Sophia would continue to grow in health and strength as she receives therapy for her CP multiple times daily
that God would prepare Sophia's heart to fall in love with her new family and prepare her new family (four big brothers!) to fall in love with her as well

A Must Must Must-Read Blog

2010-06-04T10:42:00.001-04:00

Last night I spent hours reading Kevin Hoffman's blog after watching this interview with him online:

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/video?id=7469689&syndicate=syndicate&section

He is the author of a new book entitled "Growing Up Black in White" in which he shares his experiences of having been adopted and growing up as the biracial son of white parents in 1960's-70's Detroit.

On his blog he also shares many of these experiences as well as his story of searching for his birth parents and now raising his own sons. He addresses topics of interest to transracial adoptive families such as teaching your children the "rules" about race; adoption issues vs. parenting issues; controlling the people (even family members) who touch your children's lives; "in-race" racism; and skin and hair care (complete with videos, I might add!)

What more can I say? As I entitled this post, his blog is a Must Must Must-Read for transracial adoptive parents. It is that good.